This list of guilty pleasures goes to show just how tame we really are round here. Our dirty little secrets are pretty darn clean.
1. Drinks (other than coffee) from Starbucks
A cozy steamer? A super fattening smoothie? Pick your poison.
2. Eyelash extensions
Get your lashes made professionally luscious, then bat them for an Instagram selfie. That’s really the whole point, right?
You will eat them from a truck. Then you’ll want a nip and tuck.
4. Plastic surgery
You’ve seen the suggestive billboards on I-15. Your oranges could be cantaloupes.
5. Skipping out on the adult session of stake conference to watch BYU football
Yes, it is a test. And yes, you failed it.
6. Reading “trashy” magazines at Barnes & Noble without buying them
Just make sure you wear a ball cap and hunker down in the aisle. No one has to know.
7. Cafe Rio’s Pork Salad
It’s a salad, so it must be healthy. Never mind that creamy cilantro ranch dripping down your chin.
8. “The Bachelor”
“This is so shallow and unrealistic,” you say as you turn up the volume.
9. Doing laps for extra samples at Costco
No shame — at least not enough to stop you from snagging another pot sticker on a toothpick.
10. Hip Hop and “Dirty Dancing” fitness classes
It’s the easiest way for UV moms to pretend they go clubbing on weeknights.
11. Dirty Diet Coke
Diet Coke is for the faint of heart. Dirty Diet Coke (lime or coconut flavoring added) is what Utah Valley’s adrenaline junkies are into these days. Sodalicious in Provo even gives their sodas “racy” names. “I’ll take a large ‘Second Wife’ to-go, please!”
12. Fantasy Football
It’s an irresistible time-sucker. Closeted coaches are living out their athletic fantasies from Alpine to Santaquin.
Yep, it’s still a thing. The fact that Utah Valley hasn’t gotten over the obsession like the rest of America makes this pleasure extra guilty.
14. Blog stalking
Religiously following the private lives of people you don’t really know — guilty as charged.
15. Open bars (cupcake style)
In these parts, we get drunk on frosting at parties and wedding receptions.
It’s the closest we get to gambling. Bonus: No skill required!