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10 funniest jokes Mitt Romney cracked at his BYU speech

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BYU alumnus Mitt Romney laughs before his BYU forum address on Tuesday morning. His wife, Ann Romney, joined him for in the Marriott Center. (Photo by Matt Bennett)

BYU alumni Ann and Mitt Romney laugh before Mitt Romney addressed BYU students in the Marriott Center. (Photo by Matt Bennett)

Mitt Romney is known by many titles: businessman, LDS Church member and, mostly recently, as the former Republican presidential candidate — but he isn’t known for being a jokester.

Stepping out of the strict and serious stereotype the press has given him, Romney had the audience filling the Marriott Center with laughter during his BYU forum speech, “Life Lessons at the Front.”

Here are 10 quotes from Romney’s speech that will make you laugh.

1. A walk down memory lane

“When I went here (BYU), the Beatles were the only boy band. …The Cougareat only served cafeteria food. And Emma was Joseph Smith’s only wife.”

 2. The English major

“I was an English major. That meant that I liked reading and writing. It also meant that I had no idea what I would do for a living.”

3. His failed presidential run

“In case you haven’t heard, I lost. Actually, I’d prefer to say that I won the silver medal. It’s something that gives you perspective.”

4. Tom Brady “lookalike”

“At the beginning of a campaign, you experience a good deal of unwelcome anonymity: nobody knows who you are. Occasionally someone would come up to me and say: ‘You look familiar…who are you?’ I have a standard response to this. I reply: ‘I’m Tom Brady of the New England Patriots.’ This evokes a predictable laugh. But once, however, a fellow said he was a fan and asked for a picture. I can only imagine the guffaws when he proudly showed it to his friends.”

5. Presidential back-up plan — ballroom dancer

“After the massage, the masseuse, obviously unaware of my political career, remarked to my assistant: ‘Mr. Romney has strong legs; he is a dancer, is he not?’ That may have been the best compliment of my campaign.”

6. Sweaty business

“You may have read that one of the candidates for Governor of Florida this year put a fan under his podium when he debated. I sure know why — Debating can be sweaty business.”

7. Unnecessary advice

“Another said I should stop shaving for a few days to look more sexy, as if I needed that.”

 

And from the question and answer session:

 8. An unbalanced life for me

Q: How have you balanced family life and a very public life?

A: “Balance is something I’m always asked about: work, family, the church, community, how do you balance these? I once joked if you aren’t fulfilling all the things you’d like to do in your family, and you’re not really getting the job done at work, and you’re not fulfilling your church callings like you want to, then things are in balance.”

9. Democrat truce?

Q: What is your response to those who say a Democrat can’t be a good member of the Church?

A: “Bologna and ridiculous, because my response to that is obviously Democrats can be good members of the Church. There are many great members of the church that are Democrats — members of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve as well as other members of the Church that are members of the Democratic party. I question their judgment, but not their religion. That’s a joke by the way.”

10. 3 habits of a highly successful Romney

Q: Identify three habits that have contributed to your success.

A: “Three daily habits: Brushing my teeth, shaving and using deodorant. I don’t mention hair — it stays the same day and night.”

(Romney’s serious three daily habits were pray, read and make sure to spend all my time with Ann when he is home.)

Read “7 lessons Romney learned on the political campaign” for the serious message from his BYU address.

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One Response to "10 funniest jokes Mitt Romney cracked at his BYU speech"

  1. Linda Flint says:

    Thanks for summarizing these! I listened to the talk on 89.1 and SO enjoyed it–reminder to NOT take ourselves too seriously! Life is a TRIP!

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