By Natalie Hollingshead, utahvalley360.com
Local women’s organization creates friendships, revitalizes lives
Three years ago, Ann Tolley sat down and asked herself a tough question — what’s next?
The 59-year-old had spent the “best years of her life” raising her six children, who were grown with families of their own. The lease was up on the karate school she ran with one of her sons, and since he was graduating and moving out of state, the time seemed right to sell the business.
“I couldn’t run the school alone,” says Ann, who lives in Mapleton with her husband, Dennis. “It was one of those times of sitting back and going, ‘Well, now what?’”
For Ann, the answer was to pursue her long-forgotten dreams.
So in the fall of 2003, at age 55, Ann started her legal studies at the J. Reuben Clark Law School at BYU, with an eventual goal to use her law degree to springboard into politics.
“It was really scary to start law school, knowing that my classmates would be these bright, young, totally energetic people,” Ann says. “For some people, a passive life works, but it’s not a good model for me. I do much better when there is a compelling reason to get out of bed and when I have new dreams and new things happening.”
Life after midlife
Ann’s decision to start law school in her 50s may be unique, but her desire to experience life during midlife is not.
She is just one of many Utah County women who have joined Women Celebrating Life, a national sisterhood started by local marriage and family expert Paula Fellingham.
In the more than 20 years she’s spent speaking to women nationwide, Paula has listened to thousands of women who, like Ann, grapple with the question of “what’s next?”
“What I realized when I was talking to women is that the reason they exhibit occasionally negative behavior is because they don’t know how to create joy,” says Paula, who lives in Saratoga Springs. “As women we are so passionate about improving the lives of others, but many women get to that point where they say, ‘What about me?’”
There needed to be an answer for these women, Paula says, and she set out to find it.
She published a book, “Believe It! Become It!” in 2003 and spoke to women nationwide about how they could create positive change in their lives. Her message was well received, and in October 2005, Paula launched Women Celebrating Life to take that message one step further.
“Women Celebrating Life is a sisterhood to reinvigorate women’s lives,” Paula says. “Life doesn’t end after 40. The adventure is just starting at 40.”
Celebrate good times
Every woman in the organization is part of a “celebration circle,” a chapter of six to eight women who live in close proximity. These circles meet on a regular basis to discuss the three tenets of Women Celebrating Life: celebration, self-improvement and service.
Members may choose to watch the monthly Life Enrichment DVD together, but Paula says there isn’t a set agenda for the celebration circles.
“We encourage them to have all three components, but what we really want is for them to help each other reach their personal goals, whether it’s to lose weight or write a children’s book, ” she says. “This is what women do best. We have different talents, and where one is weak the other is strong.”
More than 20 celebration circles have been started in six different countries, and there are hundreds of members nationwide waiting for more women to join so they can start a circle in their area.
“The organization is open to all religions, all diversities,” Paula says. “There is a bonding between women who know what pedal pushers are. We’re pre-computer and pre-Sesame Street.”
Although Women Celebrating Life is geared to women ages 40 and up, “little sisters” of all ages are welcome to join.
“We just say, ‘You can look forward to getting older,’” Paula says.
Living the dream
Of course, Paula has practiced what she preaches by living life to the fullest on the way up and over the hill.
While raising her seven children, Paula established herself as an expert and speaker on marriage and family related issues. She has given presentations at the United Nations and participated in the World Congress on Families in Geneva and at the World Movement of Mothers Conference at NATO headquarters.
In 2004, at age 50, Paula completed a doctorate of education in human relations.
Although she’s had many accomplishments in the past, Paula says she’s looking forward to getting older. She’s also excited about the future of the organization.
The first Women Celebrating Life Conference was held in June, and more than 60 events nationwide are planned for the fall. Someday, Paula envisions cruises, retreats and all-out parties for members spread across the globe.
“I am so excited about the future of Women Celebrating Life I can barely breathe,” she says.
Celebrate Good Times
Girls just wanna have fun — especially if those girls are Women Celebrating Life.
You can join women ages 40 and older for the “Celebrating Life! Women’s Symposium” on Sept.16 at the BYU Conference Center. Nearly 20 speakers are slated for the event, designed to help women learn, laugh, love and connect.
Here is a sampling of presentations planned for that day:
• “Great Balls of Fire! Dealing with Hot Flashes and Other Midlife Bodily Changes,” presented by Susan Steffan, a medical doctor for women at Utah Valley Regional Medical Center
• “All Challenges are Conquerable!” presented by Donna Creighton, breast cancer survivor
• “Seize the Day and Laugh; Life is Not a Duress Rehearsal,” presented by Ruth Norton, speaker and author
• “Ways to Love Life After 40,” by Jaroldeen Edwards, mother of 12 and author of 11 books, including “The Daffodil Principle”
For information, visit www.womencelebratinglife.com or call (866) GO WOMEN.
Get Involved
Find a celebration circle in your area or learn more about Women Celebrating Life at www.womencelebratinglife.com or call (866) GO WOMEN.