For everyone out there that wished there was an RMTC (Return Missionary Training Center) to phase back into day-to-day life so they could avoid these awkward encounters, best of luck to you.
1. When you forget how to speak English properly.
Spanglish isn’t a real language, just in case you were wondering.
2. Going places by yourself and forgetting you don’t need a companion.
That natural instinct to look over your shoulder and make sure your companion is only a few paces behind — get rid of it. You no longer have a committed stalker.
3. Learning to call your old companions by their first names.
Yeah, I think I’m going to stick with elder.
4. Not knowing any of the popular songs on the radio.
Why does everyone know the lyrics to this song? And how in the world did it ever get popular?!
5. The first time running into a missionary from your mission of the opposite sex.
Am I suppose to hug you now? Shake your hand still? Ignore you? Please say ignore you.
6. Going on your first date post mission.
Hey, normal conversation for the past few years has centered around the gospel. What are the kids talking about these days anyway?
7. Logging on to Facebook for the first time and not recognizing any of your “friends.”
So what if all the girls got married and changed their last name, you should still be able to recognize them, right?
8. Not having anything to wear.
With two years passing, nothing seems to fit anymore, nor is it in style. What do you mean that nobody wears overalls anymore?!
9. Seeing a returned sister missionary for the first time.
Contrary to popular belief, most sisters don’t enjoy wearing skirts 24/7. I know…you’re surprised.
10. Hitting on a married person because you forgot the ring check rule.
Calm down, you just spent two years getting rejected day after day which has prepared you for these embarrassing moments in dating life.
11. Sharing your room with your five-year-old sister.
There is officially no longer a place for you at your parents’ house, but it is still a few months until you can head back to school. Welcome to playing dress up and tea parties and tiptoeing around
your her room.
12. Lecturing parents on their spiritual lives.
It’s a new experience to have the tables reversed.
13. Bumping into exes on campus.
Oh, by the way, I wanted to thank you for the “Dear John” letter — NOT!
14. Trying to play sports again.
I promise I was coordinated once upon a time.
15. Having nothing to talk about but your mission.
It’s not your fault that all you’ve been doing for the past 18/24 months is missionary work. But — news flash — the world has moved on without you.
16. Not knowing what to do with free time.
Just back away from the planner and enjoy some free time already.
17. Not knowing what to do with yourself.
Still don’t know what to major in? Everyone wants to know your life plan, but you’re still trying to figure out how to get your contacts in for the day.
18. And most importantly, the golden question.
No, it doesn’t matter if you have only been home for a few hours, everyone will want to know when you are getting married. Settle down (pun intended) — that awkward moment will last until you finally tie the knot.