Whether you are going to a family gathering or meet a nosy grandmother at the grocery store, we’ve all been asked these invasive questions before.


1. Are you seeing anyone?

I see dead people

Oh, that’s not what you meant?


2. What’s that spot on your face?

Finding Nemo- you got a problem

I thought only young children asked questions like that.


3. When is your baby due?

Toy Story- Intelligent life

Everyone should know to never ask a woman if she is pregnant.

As a general guide, use this chart.

When to ask a pregnant woman

4. How did you graduate from BYU without getting married?

Easy A- dropped on head as infant

I don’t know, maybe I was working on getting this thing called a degree, but I can’t be sure.


5. What are you going to do with that major?

Pinky and the brain- keep calm

Oh, you were expecting a different answer? Well, I promise my English major is going to take me places you’ve never seen, like to Hogwarts or something.


6. For people with food allergies: “Are you on a diet?”

Jennifer Lawrence- eating

Just because I have to wrap my burger in lettuce doesn’t mean I’m on a diet. I mean, honestly, isn’ t that an oxymoron in and of itself.


7. Is that your real hair color?

Saved by the bell- shrug

I mean, I was a blonde when I was younger, but then it got darker so I dyed it and now who knows.


8. Are you sure you want that? Do you know how many calories that has?

Cosby eating

Nobody can come between me and my pizza.

9. Why aren’t you married? When are you getting married? How are you not married?

Arrested Development - ridiculous statement

Yes, let me list off my flaws to you so you’ll have a logical explanation.


10. Have you gained (lost) weight?Jennifer Lawrence- weight


11. Is that your real job?

Batman- Enough from the clown

What do you even do for a living again?


12. How can you be Mormon and be a feminist?

What to expect- west side story

Let’s not even go there.


13. Are you tired? You look tired.

10 things I hate about you- H.L. pretty guy

For your information, I like these bags under my eyes.


14. To stay-at-home moms: “What do you even do all day?”

Elf- Schedule

Read this humorous column on what a stay-at-home mom’s schedule looks like, and then read the controversy that followed it.


15. Can I set you up?

GG Paris - dating

Just don’t get involved in this painful process.


16. When someone asks you about recently deceased family members.

Bode Miller

Poor Bode Miller.


17. After you’ve been going to the same class or church for eight months and people ask, “Are you new?”

Liz Lemmon - rejection from society

Just because no one noticed you, doesn’t mean you aren’t special.

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