Since you were in primary, you’ve been waiting to grow an “extra foot or two” so you could leave on your mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Now that you are finally ready “to teach and preach and do as missionaries do,” it is time to fill out those mission papers and receive that year-and-a-half to two-year call.


You begin by filling out mounds of paperwork.


At least it is all electronic now.


You ask yourself the hard questions, “How much do I really want to learn another language?”

David Archuleta -mission

So, you put down “very interested” and move on to the other questions where your answers don’t really matter.


And you have your interviews with your bishop and stake president.


Samuel chair spin


Future Missionary:

Shrek- Pinnochio

Don’t let the nerves get to you.


They are finally in!

Hobbit adventure


But now you have to wait.

Frozen- Anna clock

Why isn’t this an automatic process like an ATM?


So you set up a Facebook page and invite all your family and friends to guess where you will go.


“Hey guys, I’ll be getting my mission call in the next couple of weeks, so now is your last chance to guess where I will be going.”


And everyone asks you where you want to go and where you don’t want to go.

Belle - adventure

And you lie and say you would be good with going wherever the Lord calls you.


And you daydream of all the good you are going to do on your mission.

Best Two Years- contacting

You’ll be baptizing the nations and serving the less fortunate so well that President Thomas S. Monson will want to write you a personal letter congratulating you on your good work.


Then a week goes by and you think it will never come.

The lord is testing me

There is no way the actual mission can be a harder than waiting for the call.


And you start to get irritated when anyone asks you about it.

Austenland- irritated

I don’t want to talk about it.


And you start checking your mailbox multiple times a day.

Dog gets mail

But it is never there. Β It’s always bills and ads.


You get mad because your friends that turned in their papers around the same time as you are getting their mission calls.

Anchorman- Glass case of emotion

Finally, your call arrives in the mail.

Harry Potter- Hogwarts letter

And, yes, it does feel like you’ve been accepted to Hogwarts.


So you take a picture of the envelope and post it online to tell everyone it has come.

Mission call

But you can’t open it until later that night when all your friends can come over and you can connect with your extended family on Skype. (Why did you plan on opening your call with a bunch of people?)


At last, everyone is gathered together and you begin to read your call.

Seven Dwarves 2


Only to find out someone has pranked you.

Really guys? Now isn’t the time.


You get your real call and begin reading.

Modern Family- Lily let me see that

It’s time. My whole life has led up to this moment.


You get to the name of your mission and pause because you can’t even read the name of your mission.

Toy Story - opening mission call

You have been called to the Ukraine Da-neip-er-protosk Mission. What? How am I supposed to serve there if I can’t even say the name of the city?!


And you realize you don’t know where that city is.

Single's Ward- Where's a map


Or you’re relieved that you can read the name and you didn’t get called to one of those places you really didn’t want to go.

Steve Urkel walk

Because you knew you were lying to yourself all along.


But who cares, because you’re going on a mission.

Harry Potter- I'm the chosenone

4 Responses

  1. When I received my letter in February of 1961 it indicated I had been called to the Central American Mission. So, I’m thinking Kansas, Missouri, Oklahoma, Nebraska….where the heck is Central America???? The last paragraph indicated the mission HQ was in Guatemala City. So, I’m thinking Belize, Panama, what/where??? My parents, who were not members, got me straightened out when we dug out an old Atlas and finally tracked the city down. The mission at that time consisted of Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Costa Rica and Panama, along with the San Blas Islands. The closest temple was in Arizona, so we never talked much about members going to the temple. How times have changed with many missions and temples in Central America. I’m glad I didn’t go to Kansas.

    1. America is referring to the continent… The country is United States OF America. The United States is PART of America.

  2. I really enjoyed your essay! I love your sense of humor πŸ™‚ we are full-time proselyting missionaries me Ogden central mission. We relate to your experience! We are loving our mission πŸ™‚ we went into the MTC March 10 and we just want to keep going on missions πŸ™‚ it’s just been an awesome experience! It’s wonderful to feel the Holy Ghost so strongly, and to serve our Savior Jesus Christ. We love the people we meet, and the experiences we have with the other missionaries. Keep up the good work! I’m a biochemist but used to be a news caster and journalist in radio. You have a lot of talent! I you are definitely somebody I would’ve hired. Good luck with your future! Love sister Hunter

  3. LOL XD I love this! My sister just got her mission call and IT’S SOOO TRUE!!! Can’t wait to open it up and see where my best friend/sister is going!!!

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