We all have lofty ideals about raising our kids. And then we all eat crow about them.
1. “I will never use the TV as a babysitter.”
Total meltdown. Sesame Street marathon. Netflix is your saving grace.
2. “I will never let my kid eat processed food.”
Until he starves, because he refuses to eat anything but bologna and chicken nuggets. Bring on the Happy Meals.
3. “I will never let my kid play on my phone or tablet.”
And before you know it, they’re downloading their own apps and changing the password on your keypad to “Mine.”
4. “I will always follow through on punishments.”
But some days you’d need a personal assistant to keep track of all the ridiculous threats you make.
5. “My kids will do chores every day.”
And then you realize it’s more work to make them do chores than it is to just do the chores yourself.
6. “My kids will always be well-behaved in public.”
Those words will haunt you as you drag your tantrum-throwing toddler out of the grocery store.
7. “I will never compare my children.”
But Johnny was such a good baby, and Sally never wandered off like her brother, and …
8. “I will always make time to go on weekly dates with my spouse.”
This one’s achievable … as long as you count splitting a frozen pizza and passing out on the couch together as a date.
9. “With my second child, I’ll record all the same milestones I did with my first.”
Comprehensive baby book and scrapbook? Monthly professional photo shoots? Who has time for that?
10. “I will never chat casually about my kid’s bowel movements.”
No need to over-promise here. Just commit to refrain from Instagraming them.