10 ways parents eat their words


We all have lofty ideals about raising our kids. And then we all eat crow about them.

1. “I will never use the TV as a babysitter.”

Martin Freeman laughing

Total meltdown. Sesame Street marathon. Netflix is your saving grace.


2. “I will never let my kid eat processed food.”

Full House- potato chips

Until he starves, because he refuses to eat anything but bologna and chicken nuggets. Bring on the Happy Meals.


3. “I will never let my kid play on my phone or tablet.”

Modern Family- child rearing

And before you know it, they’re downloading their own apps and changing the password on your keypad to “Mine.”


4. “I will always follow through on punishments.”

But some days you’d need a personal assistant to keep track of all the ridiculous threats you make.


5. “My kids will do chores every day.”

Pete's Dragon

And then you realize it’s more work to make them do chores than it is to just do the chores yourself.


6. “My kids will always be well-behaved in public.”

Cheaper by the Dozen- meat pants

Those words will haunt you as you drag your tantrum-throwing toddler out of the grocery store.


7. “I will never compare my children.”

Harry Potter- mother

But Johnny was such a good baby, and Sally never wandered off like her brother, and …


8. “I will always make time to go on weekly dates with my spouse.”

Jungle Book- what to do

This one’s achievable … as long as you count splitting a frozen pizza and passing out on the couch together as a date.


9. “With my second child, I’ll record all the same milestones I did with my first.”

Life as we know it

Comprehensive baby book and scrapbook? Monthly professional photo shoots? Who has time for that?


10. “I will never chat casually about my kid’s bowel movements.”

Full House- Michelle's diaper

No need to over-promise here. Just commit to refrain from Instagraming them.


Samantha Strong Murphey is a lover of greenery, glitter and goat cheese, an advocate of media literacy, human rights and karaoke for all. She earned bachelor's degree in communications from Brigham Young University and is a former writer and editor at Utah Valley Magazine. Now, she works as a full-time freelance writer and blogger based in Atlanta, Georgia.

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