laughy-taffyLaffy Taffy conoisseurs have been enjoying the soft, flavorful taffy — and the jokes printed on the wrapper — since the 1970s.

What would happen if the Willy Wonka Candy Company created a line of jokes specific to the LDS culture?

Here’s a sampling of the potential groan-worthy two-liners:

Q: Why did the Mormon climb a tree?
A: She was trying to find her branch.

Q: Why did the Miamaid skip finishing school?
A: She had already spent a lot of time in the cultural hall.

Q: Why did the Relief Society president wear a straight jacket?
A: She was committed to her ward.

Q: Why did the missionary stretch every morning?
A: To prepare to go on splits.

Q: Why did the boy bring Graham crackers and marshmallows to the church meeting?
A: It was a fireside.

Q: Why didn’t the sister missionary show respect to her elders?
A: They were always late to district meeting.

Q: What kind of paper did the bishop use to ask ward members to serve?
A: Calling cards.

Q: Why did the girl wear red, yellow and blue to church?
A: They were her primary colors.

Q: Why did the missionary drive in a serpentine fashion?
A:He thought he was called to swerve.

Q: How did the Priest and Laurel develop a crush on Tuesday nights?
A: They had a mutual admiration.

Q: Why didn’t the BYU freshman want to marry an RM?
A: She thought it stood for Racist Mutant.

Q: Why did the college student take an extra religion class?
A: She wanted to institute more into her life.

Q: Why did the Mormon share his beliefs at Yellowstone Park?
A: He wanted to bear a testimony.

Q: Why did the allergic 11-year-old girl carry a syringe of adrenaline?
A: She knew she would soon be a Beehive.

Q: Why did the hungry man bring A1 sauce to church?
A: It was at the stake center.

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