On the first Sunday of the month, members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have an opportunity to stand at the podium and bear their testimonies. These are a few of the common testimony bearers you will see in your ward.
1. The Crier
Get the tissues ready.
2. Personal Storyteller
I’m sorry, what does this have to do with your testimony again?
3. The Confessor
… But let me tell you about a time that I broke the commandments.
4. The “Bury-iers”
“I’d like to bury my testimony.” Kids are the best.
5. Every single Fast Sunday
6. Mr. or Ms. I live in the past
I’m sure your mission was great, and so was girl’s camp, but you’re 34.
7. Wannabe General Authority
That voice inflection. That pointing. You’ve got the skills.
Please tell us more about how wonderful you are.
9. Nervous Nancy
“I’m so nervous.”
10. The Prompted
“I wasn’t planning on bearing my testimony today, but I just felt like I needed to get up here.”
11. The Overtimers
Times up so they must get up.
12. Name Dropper
I just want to thank my home teacher and roommates. Or, I ran into so-and-so general authority at Deseret Book.
These are the simple ones we all like. (Don’t worry, that is probably everyone reading this post — just tell yourself that.)