13 different types of testimony bearers in your Mormon ward

Facebooktwitterpinterestmail

On the first Sunday of the month, members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have an opportunity to stand at the podium and bear their testimonies. These are a few of the common testimony bearers you will see in your ward.

 

1. The Crier

Mean Girls - emotional girl

Get the tissues ready.

 

2. Personal Storyteller

Anastasia- Ha-ya

I’m sorry, what does this have to do with your testimony again?

 

3. The Confessor

Full House- Say something nice

… But let me tell you about a time that I broke the commandments.

 

4. The “Bury-iers”

Holes- digging holes

“I’d like to bury my testimony.” Kids are the best.

 

5. Every single Fast Sunday

Frozen- Anna clock

Like clockwork.

 

6. Mr. or Ms. I live in the past

Johnny Lingo - how many cows

I’m sure your mission was great, and so was girl’s camp, but you’re 34.

 

7. Wannabe General Authority

Modern Family- gather round

That voice inflection. That pointing. You’ve got the skills.

 

8. Self-righteous

Harry Potter- I'm the chosenone

Please tell us more about how wonderful you are.

 

9. Nervous Nancy

Ice Age- exasperated squirrel

“I’m so nervous.”

 

10. The Prompted

Incredibles - coincidence?

“I wasn’t planning on bearing my testimony today, but I just felt like I needed to get up here.”

 

11. The Overtimers

Alice in Wonderland- I'm late

Times up so they must get up.

 

12. Name Dropper

James Bond

I just want to thank my home teacher and roommates. Or, I ran into so-and-so general authority at Deseret Book.

 

13. Sincere

Miss Congeniality- world peace

These are the simple ones we all like. (Don’t worry, that is probably everyone reading this post — just tell yourself that.)

Share
Rebecca Lane

While her first language is sarcasm, Rebecca dabbles in English and Russian to achieve her lifelong dream of being a journalist. A BYU sports fan, reading enthusiast and wannabe world traveler, Rebecca is a Colorado transplant that is convinced Colorado's mountains are much larger than the many Utah County peaks. Rebecca manages UtahValley360.com for Bennett Communications. Follow her on Twitter @rebeccalane.

7 Comments

  1. AvatarMaria Reply

    You left out the preacher–the guy who tells us what we should be doing with our lives and time because only he knows what Heavenly Father expects. The bishop never asks him to speak (for good reason), so he uses testimony meeting as his opportunity to call us all to repentance.

  2. AvatarMatt Reply

    You left out the fact that most of these are okay to be or do. You should cry, share your testimony like clockwork, share your experiences that made you who you are and have strengthened you, share when prompted. Most of all, being nervous is normal. It’s okay to point out all these do reflect a testimony meeting, and I’m glad they do. But, there is no reason to trivialize them.

    1. AvatarJordan Reply

      You “should” cry? Is that a requirement now for bearing your testimony? I must not have been doing it right all these years…

    2. Avatarbigv Reply

      not so. these can be a part of any testimony. Read the articles about giving a testimony by apostles and other general authorities. they re looking for real testimony from people who
      can say they know the gospel is true. How does a travelogue help or excessive crying?
      the info is there, too many ignore it.

  3. AvatarTony Marren Reply

    All these are “truthful”. Sit through a Testimony meeting at the end of winter semester in a BYU Ward. I used to doze off due to it being called “year in review”. The funniest time I ever saw were several friends setting watches together. They synchronized time as per this one member consistently crying at the same point every month. Yea,she was combo crier-and monthly related of “Thoughts For Mormons” type. I pray that ONE General Conference weekend materializes where talks are dedicated fully to teaching, baring testimonies, and the meaning of Testimony meetings.

    1. AvatarAuMiner Reply

      If I were a bishop, I would require everyone to read Elder Ballard’s talk from October 2004 (Pure Testimony) and pass a written exam on it before being allowed to bear their testimony. Recently I sat through The Worst Testimony Meeting EVER! And the worst part was the the bishop himself started it all by going for more than 15 minutes on some tangent subject. (It would have been fine as a talk in sacrament meeting or even better for a fireside, but seriously, people need to know which is which.) In a High Council meeting a while back, my Stake Pres. said that if someone really goes off track in their testimony that he expects that a High Priest would go up and give a brief testimony that really shows how it should be done. But on this particular fast Sunday, it just kept going off track with so many crazy things being said by people. My personal rule of thumb is to say things that fit into Elder Ballard’s guidelines and to keep it to 3 minutes; anything longer than that just detracts from the point I wanted to make.

    2. Avatarbigv Reply

      not so. these can be a part of any testimony. Read the articles about giving a testimony by apostles and other general authorities. they re looking for real testimony from people who
      can say they know the gospel is true. How does a travelogue help or excessive crying?
      the info is there, too many ignore it.

      Dallin H Oaks, Nov 2008 Ensign is one good one

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *