If you’re not Mormon, forgive us for our quirks.
Here are 24 common interactions Mormons have with, well, everyone that’s not Mormon — and it’s equally awkward for both sides involved.
1. Getting invited places only so you can be the designated driver.
2. Telling people about how big your family is.
No, those aren’t my cousins. Yes, all six of them are my siblings.
3. The obsession with Disney.
This can’t be healthy.
4. Having your non-Mormon friends set you up with the only other Mormon they know.
Sure, being Mormon is the only thing we have in common, but I’m sure we are a perfect fit.
5. Explaining how you “escaped” from Utah.
6. Confusing people about how Mormons can be ridiculously good-looking.
Yes, these are the top Google search recommendations. We can’t make these things up. Business Insider even named BYU the college with the best combo of hot and smart in 2014.
7. Talking to your co-workers/friends about the party last night only to find out that none of them remember anything.
You really don’t remember when you did the tyrannosaurus-stuck-in-a-tractor impression?
8. When people confuse you with a Jehovah Witness or the Amish.
Yeah, we’re super different, but good try.
9. When people ask you questions about the “Book of Mormon” musical.
And think your mission was like the “Book of Mormon Musical.” Umm … not part of our religion.
10. Explaining Mormon lingo.
My ward, no not a mental ward, it’s determined by the boundaries where I live for what time I meet for church meetings and blah, blah, blah.
11. Answering all the questions:
What else can’t you do?
Do you have horns/tail?
How many wives do you have?
12. Learning results of the big game before you have a chance to watch it.
People always spoil the game because it was on Sunday during church and you haven’t had a chance to watch it yet.
13. Being a tough dinner guest.
Can I get you something to drink? Beer? Coffee? Tea? Oh boy, how about water?
14. When they say Mormons can’t dance.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the 2015 NDA National Hip Hop Champions, the BYU Cougarettes.
15. Answering the phone, “Dear Heavenly Father.”
Don’t judge, I was just about to say a prayer.
16. Teaching people about the Law of Chastity.
17. Being invited to a morally questionable movie.
Revert back to No. 3.
18. Having people think you hate them because you turn down invitations.
Recommendation: Stop inviting them to do things on Sundays.
19. Being asked out when you’re only 14.
Sorry, I can’t date until I’m 16.
20. Realizing all of your favorite reality TV stars are Mormon.
Seriously, from “Survivor” to “The Voice,” Mormons are everywhere in reality TV.
21. Non-Mormons telling you what you believe.
You worship Joseph Smith, don’t you? No, no we don’t.
22. When you tell them how long you dated before you got married.
Wait … you met and got married within four months? ARE. YOU. MAD?!
23. Being asked about your 21st birthday plans.
Drinking, no, bad, bad drinking.
24. Accidentally ending a presentation, “In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.”
Opps, I mean, I’m done!